Friday Funnies - Starring Thing 1

In the car this morning on the way to drop Thing 1 off at his tumbling class (shoutout to JW Tumbles, whose brilliant classes tire that child out even more than an afternoon of swimming can do!) he says to me, "Mom, I'm glad today is tumbling because I have to get my muscles pumping!" I'm trying to keep a straight face when I ask him what he means. He replies, totally serious, "Mo-om (said with the tone that shows he is humoring me), I need my muscles to be pumped so that I can play my electric guitar." "Your air guitar you mean?" He's been "rocking out" - his words - to Pearl Jam recently and I can only imagine that is what he is referring to. "No," he says. "My electric guitar - I don't even have an air guitar, geez." Seeing as how he doesn't have an electric guitar either, sarcasm and 4 year-olds is hit and miss I guess.

But, in honor of Thing 1 (and his pumping muscles!) I thought I'd share some of his other 1 liners that have cracked me up recently:

1. "Mom, you scream like a girl!" he said when I shrieked (admittedly like a girl) after being shot in the face with a stream of water the day he and his cousin managed to not only turn on the water hose but also to attach the spray thingy and somehow set it to the "stream" setting. No mist, no shower. STREAM. Right in the face.

2. The other day when I told him to stop yelling and that he sounded like a pterodactyl, he responded, "Well, at least I'm not a Meanasurarus!" I assume that is the opposite of a Niceasaurus, his cousin's name for his stuffed dinosaur.

3. The first day I was taking him to tumbling classes last week I was threatening to take him home if he picked his nose any more (he is an unrepentant nose picker) because he had picked a sore spot that just won't heal no matter how many times I slather it with Vaseline (Vaseline is to Southerners what Windex is to Greeks). I said, on the way up to the door, "Thing 1, if you pick your nose any more, we are going to turn around and go home (note to self - don't use empty threats like this one because there was NO WAY I was taking that kid back home with me should I have actually caught him picking!). He responds, quite clearly, as I open the door, "But mom, if you pick YOUR nose then we are also going to go home, right?" Nice. Hello, I'm here to sign in Thing 1, oh, and by the way, I pick my nose?!?

4. Probably the best one, though I don't know where he got this phrase because I don't *think* it is one that I use. He was pushing around Thing 2 and I had told him 2 different times to lighten up on the kid, he just wanted to be like his big brother. Sure enough I hear Thing 2 screech again so I go over and take the toy (Noah's Ark if anyone can see the irony there) and Thing 1 looks up at me, full of fury, and says, "How DARE you?" I'm like, how dare what? How dare I? I'm the mom! I did try not to laugh but couldn’t help it. And, Mr. Ham-it-up knows when he's hit a funny bone so he's been saying "How dare you!" every time I wipe his face, make him brush his teeth, go to his room for a time-out, or anytime he feels like he's being treated unfairly (which turns out to be quite often for a 4 year-old). It is definitely getting less charming with more use, something that seems to make him think it is even funnier though. Ahh, the comic repertoire of a pre-schooler. I think he gets it from his dad.

Parental Consent Laws and Minors

So, we have lots going on around here. It is almost the end of the semester (yes, I am taking classes every semester in hopes of finishing before Thing 1 and Thing 2 graduate college!) so you know what that means...huge project due. Add to that the stress of hosting a baby shower last weekend ( and I got to decorate with pink! which this house never sees!), hosting a meeting this Friday night, a neighborhood yardsale Saturday morning, and a trip to San Diego Tuesday, to come back to a presentation and project being due the day after and what do you have...one frazzled Obama Mama I tell you. I just got both kidlets in bed and have a minute to myself - so hold on whilst I pour a glass of white wine. I drink better when I write - oh wait, well, you know what I mean.

So first - the project. I was looking at the impact of parental involvement mandates on abortion experiences in minors. Recent literature in this area has shown parental notification and consent laws have corresponded with a higher rate of 2nd trimester abortions in minors. I have been looking at data from Virginia, and I'm still checking it out with the Virginia Department of Health guy who helped me out with the raw data, but from my calculations there has been about a 9.37% increase in the rate of 2nd trimester abortions in minors. That is pretty significant and hopefully I'll get something publishable out of this pilot study.

Now, I know there are people out there, even pro-choice people who don't see the harm in parental mandates - and I get that...on the surface level. But, further research and what I have gotten from the literature as well as interviews with clinic directors is that of women who choose to not involve their parents in their decision to have an abortion, a majority cited, as their primary reasons, histories of violence in their family, fear of physical abuse or mistreatment, or fear of being evicted from their homes. So basically, there is a reason why some of these women aren't telling their parents. Their options then become to obtain a judicial bypass (if they can get one - I've heard stories about certain judges who deny these cases out of hand based on personal ideology) or go to a state with no such restrictions. As it turns out, neither of these options is equivalent to obtaining a timely outcome, and partly why there may be an increase of 2nd trimester abortions in minors in states with parental involvement mandates. So anyway, that is where that is. Maybe next week I'll go into my study on what makes a state more likely to enact restrictive reproductive healthcare policies...but only if I don't get anymore nasty emails from the more anti-choice among us, ok? You guys are free to start up your own repressive and medically inaccurate websites and blog it up till your heart's content.

So, now that I have the project pretty much wrapped up I am turning my focus to Saturday's festivities. This is our neighborhood's first annual yardsale. Last year we had our first annual Block Party followed by our first annual Christmas Cookie Exchange. Being from small town Georgia (well, at least OTP - outside the perimeter) I love this neighborly get-together stuff. I love knowing who my neighbors are and having their kids and furbabies running all around. And, of course, I love the food that is always present at these festivals of good-will.

After that I'll turn my attention towards packing for San Diego. Anyone got any advice for our visit - things to see or do? Or just prayers - taking Thing 1 and Thing 2 on a cross-country plane trip by myself sounds about as much fun as a bikini wax. Still, like a bikini wax, the pain is worth it in the end, right?

Michelle Obama in Norfolk on August 6th!

Come and join us for an evening benefiting the Obama Victory Fund!
Location: Harrison Opera House, 160 East Virginia Blvd., Norfolk 23510
Time: Wednesday, August 6 @ 6 p.m.
Featuring a performance by Bruce Hornsby

Of course you know when I say us, I don't mean me in particular. I'm a $100 donor, not a co-host like Tim Kaine (oh yeah, he'll be there too!) or anything. It just sounded better than writing - "Come and join them" or "Come and join me" - you know? But I'm sure a great time will be had by all! What is better than a night out without the kidlets (I love em' but it is nice to not worry about snot on the back of your shirt for one evening, right?)for the specific purpose of getting to talk politics and hang out with other progressives trying their best to make a change?!? Outta control.

I'm very excited also, as a woman, as a mom, as a reproductive healthcare advocate, and as a citizen of this state and of this country, heck, as a citizen of the world...to hear some more of her thoughts and ideas on our future and what her platforms and causes will be as first lady. I've heard she has an interest in teen pregnancy. Wow - would that dovetail nicely with what family planning clinics like Planned Parenthood are already hard at work doing - trying to reduce unintended pregnancies through education and prevention. And with the change in leadership that is sure to come with her husband as President..well, .I just get vaclempt thinking about it ;-)

Silent treatment doesn't work during deployment!

One of the easiest, most effective (and most oft used in our household) strategies for letting Mr. Wonderful know I'm mad at him is by the silent treatment (sometimes it does backfire though, as in, he enjoys that moment of silence too much!). Problem is, the loss of, shall we say, umph!, in delivery of said strategy during deployments when it takes a good couple of days of not answering the phone (should a POTS line or cellphone become avaible during a port visit) or an email to get through to Mr. Wonderful that no, it isn't the comm system on the boat or a difference in time zones that is what is holding back my long distance kisses and huggles.
I am smack in the middle of Day 2 of SST (Strategy Silent Treatment) and no reaction. None. How can there be when he doesn't notice yet how mad I am? And why are we arguing (or at least I'm trying to) - oh please, let's discuss the why. I'm about one more day of this from the trusty fall back strategy of BITBG (Bringing in the Big Guns...calling his mom!). No, I'm kidding. I wouldn't call his mom...I'd call mine!

To not bore you with detailing speak (the process by which military members get their "orders" or next job placement), I'll just say that he has been given some options for his next set of orders and we do not, DO NOT!, agree on which would be better for A. his career or B. our family. I feel like he is totally discounting my feelings and very fabulous advice (which, of course, I freely give!) and he, well, I don't even know what he feels like because he mentioned in passing, like, oh yeah, this is what I'm thinking after talking to my detailer. Nevermind that he had a totally different opinion on these options earlier and PS - telling your wife (in an oh-so-dissmissive manner no less!) that you are willingly volunteering to go on a back to back deployment schedule when there is another option on the table that fulfills all the same requirements...just not a good idea for all you Mr. Wonderfuls out there. Also not extremely condusive to an in-depth discussion of such magnitude is choosing to discuss this topic when your better half is preparing to host a party at your house for 20 people or in the middle of feeding/putting to bed Thing 1 and Thing 2. Just. Not. A. Good. Time. Seriously, I don't think I'd even give money to the No Offshore Drilling/Arrest Karl Rove/Put Impeachment on the Table/Pro-Choice Women United Fund if they called and wanted a serious discussion during those times.

So, that is where I am right now. I talked to my neighbor while the kidlets and I were out enjoying a walk around the neighborhood. He is also military and has some insight into the detailing process. He said to pass along his email address if Mr. Wonderful would like someone to bounce ideas off of. I said I would definitely do so...but first I have to wait for him to understand how mad I am at him...which he can't do until he realizes I am not returning his emails. Gah - so frustrating! It is so much easier to use the silent treatment strategy when the person is actually PRESENT!

Military Spouses for Obama! Yes We Can!

That's right! I got a call from a DNC member last night. She is interested in hearing from military spouses, from this area, that support Obama. I was more than happy to chit chat and we have great ideas and plans to show how both military veterans and spouses want Obama to be our next commander-in-chief. The days of sending secret codes to each other through baseball signals is over my friends...we are loud and we are proud!

Now, first off, if you are interested in participating in our plans please email Susan at mariners@dnc.org and she'll put you on the listserv to be kept up to date on our activities. Or you can shoot me a line at vgalady@aol.com if you have any other questions/concerns/suggestions.

This is our chance to come together and show how much we support our community and our military by helping to elect someone we truly feel will try to make this country, this world, a better place for our children. I'm more excited than when the Dixie Chicks released their latest album I tell you ;-)

Finally, and I'm so sorry to be missing for our trip out to visit Mike in San Diego, but there is a sort of kickoff event:

Hampton Roads Veterans and Military for Obama
Family Potluck BBQ for Change
Go to http://my.barackobama.com/page/event/detail/meeting/4grbw to view the details and to RSVP

YES WE CAN (and with your help, we will!)

Ben Jones in Norfolk to sign book - Redneck Boy in the Promised Land

Ya'll come on out now, ya hear?

Former Georgia congressman (and my favorite uncle!) Ben "Cooter" Jones will be signing copies of his book, "Redneck Boy in the Promised Land" here in Norfolk!
Here are the details:

Prince Bookstore 109 E. Main Street Norfolk, VA 23510 Store Phone: 757-622-9223 www.prince-books.com Tuesday, July 15 7:00pm - 8:00pm Reading/Book Signing

Hope you can stop by for the reading and to buy a book. Uncle Ben's experience as a congressman and involvement in politics are some of my earliest adventures in civic organization and activism. He was a big part of my life growing up and a huge influence on my political tendencies. On long trips we used to play "The History Game" which wasn't so much a game but him quizzing us on historical figures, facts, and data. I have to tell you though, Thing 1 and I now play the "History Game" as well which entails me making songs up about American Presidents, legislation, current events, and political figures and quizzing him about them. At four, he does still think it is a game though. For all his other accomplishments, a lot of people don't know that uncle Ben was the one who brought the originial ethics charges against Newt Gingrich that ended up with Gingrich getting reprimanded by the House and ordered to pay $300,000 - the first time in the House's history that it had reprimanded a Speaker for ethical wrongdoing. Plus, on a lighter note, his being "Cooter" in The Dukes of Hazzard was enough to make more than a couple southern boys ask this Georgia gal on a date in my formative years ;-)

Happy 4th of July - Now, Let America Be America Again!

Happy 4th of July everyone! In 9th grade one of my favorite teachers (and one who I give a lot of credit to for my love of political science and history) read us this poem by Langston Hughes and said the first time she heard it was, interestingly enough, at a 4th of July celebration. I've reread this poem ever so often since then...I must admit I find I've been reading it more during the last 8 years as pseudo-patriots and jingoistic-religious tripe have pervaded our national dialogue and somehow managed to tamp down what real sense of community and sense of idealism that we, as Americans, seem to be born with. It also speaks to the inevitability of being doomed to repeat history if we don't learn from it. When, oh when, will we learn from it? I'm hoping this next presidential election will usher in the winds of change that so many of us have been longing and striving for...please, let America be America again!


Let America be America again.
Let it be the dream it used to be.
Let it be the pioneer on the plain
Seeking a home where he himself is free.

(America never was America to me.)

Let America be the dream the dreamers dreamed--
Let it be that great strong land of love
Where never kings connive nor tyrants scheme
That any man be crushed by one above.

(It never was America to me.)

O, let my land be a land where Liberty
Is crowned with no false patriotic wreath,
But opportunity is real, and life is free,
Equality is in the air we breathe.

(There's never been equality for me, Nor freedom in this "homeland of the free.")

Say, who are you that mumbles in the dark?
And who are you that draws your veil across the stars?

I am the poor white, fooled and pushed apart,
I am the Negro bearing slavery's scars.
I am the red man driven from the land,
I am the immigrant clutching the hope I seek--
And finding only the same old stupid plan
Of dog eat dog, of mighty crush the weak.

I am the young man, full of strength and hope,
Tangled in that ancient endless chain
Of profit, power, gain, of grab the land! Of grab the gold! Of grab the ways of satisfying need! Of work the men! Of take the pay! Of owning everything for one's own greed!

I am the farmer, bondsman to the soil.
I am the worker sold to the machine.
I am the Negro, servant to you all.
I am the people, humble, hungry, mean--
Hungry yet today despite the dream.
Beaten yet today--
O, Pioneers!
I am the man who never got ahead,
The poorest worker bartered through the years.

Yet I'm the one who dreamt our basic dream
In the Old World while still a serf of kings,
Who dreamt a dream so strong, so brave, so true,
That even yet its mighty daring sings In every brick and stone, in every furrow turned
That's made America the land it has become.
O, I'm the man who sailed those early seas
In search of what I meant to be my home--
For I'm the one who left dark Ireland's shore,
And Poland's plain, and England's grassy lea,
And torn from Black Africa's strand
I came To build a "homeland of the free."

The free?

Who said the free? Not me? Surely not me?
The millions on relief today? The millions shot down when we strike?
The millions who have nothing for our pay? For all the dreams we've dreamed
And all the songs we've sung
And all the hopes we've held
And all the flags we've hung,
The millions who have nothing for our pay--
Except the dream that's almost dead today.

O, let America be America again--
The land that never has been yet-- And yet must be--
the land where every man is free.
The land that's mine--the poor man's, Indian's, Negro's, ME--
Who made America, Whose sweat and blood, whose faith and pain,
Whose hand at the foundry, whose plow in the rain,
Must bring back our mighty dream again.

Sure, call me any ugly name you choose--
The steel of freedom does not stain.
From those who live like leeches on the people's lives,
We must take back our land again, America!

O, yes, I say it plain, America never was America to me,
And yet I swear this oath-- America will be!

Out of the rack and ruin of our gangster death,
The rape and rot of graft, and stealth, and lies,
We, the people, must redeem The land, the mines, the plants, the rivers.
The mountains and the endless plain--
All, all the stretch of these great green states--
And make America again!